Hamburg 2018 transcript - The Jenny Source

Jenny: I've been... Should I talk to you?  [looking at Sara]. Is that easier for you? Well, I'm here. Well, where  do you start? It's fantastic people. There's been a lot of (imitating  dance music sounds). The German (dance music sounds). And I come on  stage with my soft songs and it's like, how's it gonna work? They really  love those. They love the melodies. They sing along. And you can feel  like you're... It's like you... Sometimes when you're on stage it feels  like you're playing like piano or guitar and you're actually treating something and you try to get a stroke of your own soul. That becomes a  pattern on people who you actually talk to. It's very strange, I know. It couldn't be more flower-ish, the language, probably, but it's the  only way to express it. And we always pray before we go on stage. And  sometimes you just - it's like drawing. I don't know how you do it but  it's like an extra part of your soul. And it happened today and I was  very happy for it.

I've been traveling all night, as more of here, this place here, right [meaning traveling from Karlskoga, Sweden to Hamburg, Germany], so we didn't sleep so much. And that made us a bit self-confident in a way--that you didn't have time or that you didn't have all these things that you needed to be scared of.  It's like, yep, let's take a look. So today, the audience was brilliant I think and I was very happy.

Jenny:  I've been doing it... It was one of my goals for the German shows to  show that I could do different things, so I decided to try "Dying to  Stay Alive". I decided to try an ABBA song. I decided to try... cut very  short, to do a very short show. To add musicians. And things I've been  doing with my show so far has worked. So the optimal thing to do here  I'd say would be have musicians, have a bit longer set so they actually see the great stuff that we do. But at first they just wanted three  songs. It's like, we've been fighting our way through and they like what  we do. So that's good. That's a good thing that's been working. So, well, we've been changing it and turning it a bit. And it's like fine,  just trying. So they trust us now. They didn't in the beginning.

Jenny:  Well, they wouldn't give me two hours so... No, I've been trying to  really... I wanted to get the "Happy Nation" feeling but since it's  daylight and it's Germany they want more uptempo maybe and "Happy  Nation" is a bit depressing. So it... yeah, well, I mean I get it. We come  with our Army rock, like Army feeling and showing pictures of dead  seals and yeah. But I think it's important anyway and there is always  someone who likes it, but we need a longer time and we need a light  show. So, in daylight let's just make it fun and get through whatever you can.

Jenny: Well, we had  actually one challenge last year. We were doing the Swedish airspace. The warfare there. The Luftwaffe. How do you say it in English? (Air  Force). The Air Force, thank you. (Well, your German's still good.) We  were there and they wanted to... They sold our disco party show and I  was sitting in front of the head of NATO and the head of I don't know  and the head of something else in Korea, and it was like military men  and their wives in their long dressy gowns and it's like, ok, so we've  gotta do something. So I called in a violinist I know, Greger [Siljebo],  that Jakob works with a lot. And I was also calling in Erik, another  piano player. And I was calling in two very talented choir and dance  girls. Not for the dance show mainly but to do a very nice harmony show like that. So we did two sets with a fantastic thing around the material  that was in Så Mycket Bättre, that TV show. And the thing was exactly  when I was like, "Ok, so I'm just gonna get everything set for the  show." And I had my own ballgown on. I got a real one. And I was sitting  there in front of all these high position guys. And what they told me  was just before the show, they said, "Your Godmother is dying... now. Do  you have any last words?" And they hand the phone over. And I was just  heartbroken. Really heartbroken because on top of everything that has  happened, I mean, don't take my Godmother away. And I spoke to her with  her frail voice over the phone. And I was just there crying and it's  like "You're supposed to go on stage now, Jenny." It's like, "Yeah, just  take everybody and tell them a happy story cause I can't and you do  that job today cause I can't" and I just do whatever I can. I'm gonna make this show and I'm gonna make it happen. And then I was supposed to  do "Så Skimrande..." and that was her favourite. I know she loved that  one.

And it was actually my father's cousin who was my Godmother, Ingegerd Bäckström, a fantastic woman, and she's  really been so kind to me all these years and always so supportive and,  you know, everything. She's been great. She's really been a Godmother. I don't know what picture you have in mind with a picture of a Godmother  but she was one. I had another Godmother and she was really not that...  This one was amazing. So I was going on stage with my heart in pieces  and I was supposed to sing "Så Skimrande..." that was actually talking  about my father, about the last time I kissed him. And it's like, ahhh,  that was really hard but I did it. And it's just one of those things  that you realise, I am so happy that I've got these talented people  around me that can help me through doing a show that is really, really  difficult. You've got all these prominent people. And you're not  supposed to make Sweden look really, really bad. You're supposed to make  Sweden look good. And buy our jet fighter. It's very expensive. Buy  sixteen. You know, that was me that day. And I wasn't only like, "Oh, we  got some chewing gum for you here." It's like, "We've got some jet  fighters here for you to buy today." And my heart was broken. I was supposed to really pour out my soul and I did. And together with these  guys and girls that I was on stage with and with Bengan and everybody,  it just worked. I should show you a clip.

Jenny: Ingegerd. I'm not expecting you to... It's like a German image in the beginning [referring to the name Ingegerd]

Jenny: Oh, the biggest lesson I got.

Jenny:  Love is untouchable. You cannot really prove it. When it's in your  heart and your focus is on someone, it doesn't change. It's unchanging.  Maybe growing but not changing. She was also having the source of the everlasting love that I have with God and everything. And she had me in  her prayers. She told me at a very early age that "I have you in my  prayers every night". And I was like, "What?" You're not supposed to  have that, like in another way. That's supposed to be in another way.  Then somebody goes up and tells you something nice. But this was like,  every... She's really doing this every night for me. Every night. And  that was amazing. Really amazing. And I hope that... I'm a Godmother for four persons and I hope to be the same one for them.

Jenny: She loved Ace of Base. She was all about Ace of Base. She had a check on everything we did. She's like,  she's my one fan. If you should pick one that is in her age, that would  be her.

Jenny:  Well, my projects I'm working on right now are these shows. Actually, I need to do more with the show. I wanna do more with the show. I've  taken all the biggest hits and squeezed them into one little medley. I would like to take some material and get it up to "Life is a Flower". Take some older material or other material or newer material and squeeze  it into "Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry". So I find other medleys. That is  what I, just this weekend if you talk about right now. The project in  general, actually with the book that you've been writing, I'm finding if there is any way that you can actually do more of it, like give it to  my editor that I had with my book, for instance. I think she would love  to read that book. She would be so.. She would be very proud to get the  book. She's one of the main persons of the book that I've been doing.

And  then there's another thing. I have all these desires. You know, you got all these things that you want to do but it's impossible to do. And I'm  constantly, as you know, I'm constantly thinking about my sister and my brother Jonas and it's not working, so it will not be a work, but it's  so much work to get around it. And I would just like to do, like things  around that and maybe bring it in my show, so I'll see what happens. And then I've got my own ideas, my own music. How to develop that. And just  this week we've been getting some openings with some other guys, but you will never know what that will lead to, obviously. You never know that.

Jenny: Yeah, but I don't do that a lot.

Jenny:  No, I don't put them on the side but I put them in my idea folder. I've  got them in my folder when I do them and then I save them. And I let  them linger a bit because right now I don't do music. That's not like everybody's saying what do you got. But that door just opened up. But let's see what happens. Might be something interesting.

Jenny: "The Juvenile."

Jenny:  It's a good song. And it's on the Bond theme. And it's like... We just  listened to the whole albums in the car going back and forth in  Karlskoga. Me and the girls and everybody. It's like, and it's like  "This one should be.." and "This one is like that..." And there were  songs that they had never heard before. And "The Juvenile", everyone was  like, "Buckle up. This is a good song." It's a good song, I think but  it's like maybe not so... Maybe not the most speedy one you could ever  have. It's more so, when you have some more, but... So, please give me  information which songs do you like because it could be something. Just  inform me because I'm not everybody. I just love all the songs.

Jenny: No, they were never planned to be anything but songs. It's what me and Jakob do when we cook. That is what happens. But he had to focus on his thing and I was going into this constantly traveling thing and he kept going with me, so it's been more of that. But there are so many nice, new songs that he's been doing together with Greger that they're out doing. And I got a  song. I got lyrics to all of them. It's like, ah yes. But they're doing a really good thing on their own. It's difficult. It's always difficult because like they just say that this song is about this and then it's  instrumental. And you can really feel... you write your own lyrics to it. Ahh, so it's really good. I cannot really do that since the only thing I do is sing. I can't really play the violin.

Jenny: Yeah,  but I mean, I don't play an instrument so I can't really perform  instruments. Instrumental is what I mean. I can't really say, "Listen to  my violin, Greger. Author of all violins, what do you think about  this?" I'm not that good, so unfortunately. But I sing and that's a good  thing. But I need my lyrics. I cannot have (imitating instrumental music). I need the vocals and I need the words. I need to come up with them. But it's not there yet. But there are so many things that are  going on. Jakob has been writing two really nice, new pieces that they've been performing that's really, really good.

Jenny:  No, it's not difficult but it's sometimes... Sometimes you... also in a  life, especially when you live together and you're so connected, it's  like sometimes you just need to say, "I love you". That thing, when they  actually create something. It doesn't mean that "I know lyrics to your  song." It's not important. It's just like, "I like you. I love what you  do. I see what you do. And I see what you're doing." Yeah, it's another  part. And it's not difficult. It's just like, It's not that I'm waiting  like, "Oh, ok, I'll let him have that one for three years and then maybe  I add my lyrics to it." It doesn't work like that either. He's just,  yeah, he's very, he's very talented. He's better. He's better than that,  than just me blurting out lyrics and everything else, but it doesn't  keep your heart from thinking.

Jenny: Oh my gosh.

Jenny: Been amazed by my internet site.

Jenny: There is a Spanish name for that and it's ayuda. And in Italy, it's aiuto. And in English, it's help. And in German, it's hilfe, bitte.  I don't know. I don't know really where to go. And I'm not. It's not  that I'm not thinking about it. I know exactly what I want to do. But  it's...at the same time, I have to think it through, really. Because  everything I do, it's like, ok, so I put my finger down here. And then  it's supposed to mean something. Especially in the social media world.  "Oh, she's green. She's a blue person. No, she's yellow. I think she's  red." and it's like, "No, I just put my finger down. It's like no, I  didn't do that." So it's difficult. I have a friend of mine who's  working with doing platforms for like when you travel in Sweden and when  you go to the biggest amusement park, she's the one who makes the  platforms. And I was thinking like she's the one I'm gonna call, like  help me to get an idea to what I... If I just don't want to do much and  then people do the rest just to get that. Right now it's just I need new  pictures, yeah.

Jenny: I will think of that.

Jenny: Everything is growing all the time, Sara. Everything is growing all the time. It's a friendship and it's work.

Jenny: Had to get that one.

Jenny: You think so?

Sara: Yeah, so what happened?

Jenny: So, that's Jessi with an A N J A. It's Jessi.

Jenny: Yeah, I was making fun of... It wasn't fun.

Jenny:  No, it's just that, basically. And keep you waiting out in the cold  yesterday, poor thing. But we work where it's warmer, but anyway...

Well,  what have I trashed so far? I think I've trashed a lot, to be sure. I  mean, to be honest. There is being me and being like, I want to see  everything and I want to do everything. That is, as everybody knows, an  impossible way of doing things. But one nice memory I have is so recent,  so fresh that I can actually still taste it. When you have your  nostrils and you take a breath in, and ah yeah, this is what happened. I  visited Jonas in The Barn and we just had so much fun. I love that. We  just had fun together. It was really great. And it's a good thing. And I  didn't trash that one.

Jenny:  Talked. He showed me things and asked me about things I have done. We  had fun. And all these, we always crack up laughing at something you  cannot explain to anyone else because it's just the two of you in the  world that know it. It's good. It's good.

Jenny: I was  thinking that this is a very difficult project to put together, so I  won't put any pressure on someone because that is a very difficult thing  because then you have to choose then to edit. You have to make it  accessible to everybody, so you have to deal with all the emotions  because I've been writing a book myself by myself. And now people have  been writing about themselves. And it's for giving the lyrics away. The  closest ones can actually read your book. And reading your writing and  what you've been thinking and it's... You reveal yourself in a very,  very big way. That's why, I mean, we have to be very kind to each other.  And really take care of ourselves because it takes precautions,  especially when you're on the internet and you talk about things: about  the book, about how people express themselves. Because someone who  writes in English but are not English and people who are English and  write in English for persons who do not speak English as a first  language. That is too, that is a complete clash.

I've  been trying to write my book in English and it's like I can't do it. I  need someone who's native somewhere who has the same thinking as I have.  And it's really good. So I was facebooking a lot with Katie. And, so  that's how we did it. And that was really good and that's the  translation that came out. The thing is that I was Swedish. I was  writing in my native language. And now you have been writing in your  native language but you've been trying to translate it to English. So be  kind to each other because sometimes when you try to express your inner  feelings, and it's just a source of joy, let it be that source of joy.  Translate it into your own source of joy. And respect. And I am so  thankful because the job got done. And it's a huge and it's a difficult  job. And it actually happened, so that was...I was, I was. You saw me. I  was crying when I got the book. It's like, "What?!" It happened and  that was fantastic. Really amazing. And I think it's going to be a lot  of joy for everybody and this is like also a feeling for a follow-up. So  it could be more. It could be more.

Jenny: [facing Anja's camera] Where am I? Here?

I  don't know, but thank you so much for participating. I can't say very  much more. It's your heart that's out there. And I will do what I can to  take care of it. But do take care of your own heart and we will help  you.